87. Chemo I have to be Honest, I haven't been Totally Honest..

I have been keeping something from you, and from myself as well, because this is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and it is really, really difficult.  Unless you have been in this situation, you have no idea how difficult.  

The surgery went fine and I bounced back fairly quickly from it.  After the surgery I had to wait 6 weeks before chemo was started, which, as you know,  I have been writing about.  Before the chemo treatment started however, a second CT scan was ordered, and then it was discovered that the cancer had spread to my liver, that it had metastasized, a fancy word for "setting up shop in other organs", that in fact I have Stage 4 colon cancer.  Yikes!!  Typically, colorectal cancer will metastasize to the liver and lungs preferably, but other sites as well.  This tumor was not found on the first CT scan before surgery.  At the start of chemo I was told by my oncologist that the liver tumor, which is not  big Thank God!, could be/would be removed, either half way through chemo  treatment or shortly after.  The chemo would try and get rid of all residual cancer cells and shrink the liver lesion so it would be fairly easy to remove.  It would be eliminated by a radiologist using a procedure called RadioFrequency Ablation, iow, the radiologist would zap/fry the tumor into oblivion.  Well, with treatment behind me, I was called for an ultrasound last Friday in preparation for this procedure.  First the ultrasound technician, and then the radiologist, tried to locate the tumor.  Neither could find it with the ultrasound.  Now you may jump to conclusions like I did, and think that it is gone, pouf, vanished, but it clearly showed up on an MRI about a month ago.  And get this:  that same radiologist told me that the liver tumor would have to grow again so that it would show up on ultrasound before he can treat it.  To say that I am upset is The understatement of the year.  I need some time to absorb all this and to cool my jets!! No, I need to rant and rave first before cooling my jets, which I will do in the next post!